Chinese New Year Already Starting

The Big Office is bringing us gifts for Chinese New Year. Fonzo got us some massage coupons, but they expire right before the end of February. So soon! Those Chinese companies really want to make sure you either use their coupons or - better yet - forget and they just get free money. Either way, a massage is welcome.

The Big Boss also sent us these giant boxes of who knows what. Within this giant box that each of us gets, there are smaller boxes. Within these smaller boxes are vacuum packed meats. Like duck. You can see the little duck body cramped up. I do not know what to do with this meat, but I have a feeling it will become lunch at the office.

A bag of "shanhetao" has materialized on the design table. It is impossible to open the shell with your teeth. Surprisingly, we do not have a nut cracker. Something like that could actually be in the male lines we have yet to explore. Anyway, I used a heavy handled vibrator to bust open these nuts. The shells revealed a tasty piece of nothing. Disappointing. The taste is nice but it is nothing but a myth with how much effort is involved to open it. The adult novelty industry calls for instant gratification.

As much as we appreciate these gifts, we are still waiting for our "company perks" coming in the form of free vibrators. I owe some favors.